Ways To Confuse Santa
Instead of milk and
cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think
he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a
speeding ticket.
Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays.
Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact
replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get
them to fly.
Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull
goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees
that big, red Santa suit!
Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus
called and wanted to remind him to pick up some
milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney.
Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.
While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As
soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he
shouldn't
have missed that last payment, and take off.
Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed.
When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say,
"Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute
changes and corrections.
While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed
wire.
Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a
map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa
to get caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but
from a distance, he looked like a bear.
Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's
in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes
back
up, act like you've been "trampled." Threaten to sue.
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