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How Men and Dogs Are the Same: Both are threatened by their own kind. Both mark their territory. Both are bad at asking you questions. Neither tells you what's bothering them. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous. Neither does any dishes. Both pass gas shamelessly. Neither of them notices when you get your hair cut. Both are suspicious of the postman. Neither knows how to talk on the telephone. Neither understands what you see in cats.
How Dogs Are Better Than Men: Dogs admit when they're jealous. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you, except fetch Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence. You can train a dog. Dogs are easy to buy for. You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams. The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas. Dogs understand what no means. Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside. Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner. Dogs admit it when they're lost. Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
Men only have two feet that track in mud. Men can buy you presents. Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them for a walk. Men are a little bit more subtle. Dogs have dog breathe all the time. Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it.
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